A Day in Spock's Life
by Taskemus
Summary: Just what the title says. It's finally over ... sniff
1. Breakfast

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, Paramount does.   
A/N - This is a story that I wrote a long time ago, focusing on what Spock thinks of Surak's teachings.  
  
Spock awoke as always at exactly 5:00 AM Ship's Time. Immediately he was completely conscious, and wasted no time in getting dressed in his normal blue uniform and walking to the dining room.  
  
As Spock sat down at his usual table, he found himself wondering about humans. It was 5:04, a time late enough that everyone should have been already in the dining room if they wanted to be at their posts by 5:28. But, it was most likely that the majority of the humans aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise were still asleep, and would not wake for at least another 21.542 minutes. He did not understand it. The humans had set the rule that stated each person was to rise at 5:00 Ship's Time, yet they did not follow their own rule. It was highly illogical.  
  
As Spock began to gingerly eat the strange Earth food called , the silence was overwhelming. He could hear the sound of his own breathing, which Spock was not used to, even though his ears had a higher capacity for doing such a thing. Humans did not value silence for the logical thing that it was, as Vulcans did.  
  
Instinctively, Spock let his mind blank and focused on the soft sound of his own breathing. Soon not only the room was silent - Spock had joined the silence which gathered around him like a flock of birds eager to be fed.  
  
He was now part of the traditional Vulcan meditation which he had studied for many years. Spock remembered when he was a young child and this meditation had been part of his schooling, part of Kya'shin, the teaching of logic over emotions. Hopefully when Spock reached the customary age he would receive the Kohlinar, the certificate of complete logic.  
  
In just thinking this, Spock felt a small wave of excitement travel up his throat. Immediately he punished himself. He would not sink that low. It was against the teachings of Surak.  
  
Spock remembered the chant he had been taught while being schooled, a basic asset of Kya'shin. _I am in control of my emotions,_ Spock began to mentally repeat,_ I am in control of my emotions. _ At once, he felt the shield of logic fall over him, and ceased the chant. It was time to eat. Only 16.78886 minutes were left until he was due on the bridge.  
  
  
Hey, you green-blooded hobgoblin! A voice called from beyond the depths of the silence Spock was engulfed in. He looked up at the sound of the wavy human voice. It was the doctor. He had a fascinating habit of calling Spock odd things that were not his name or his position. Yet another illogical aspect of human life.  
  
  
Hello, Doctor. Spock greeted the man. The Doctor, Mr. McCoy, was grinning, a curious movement of the mouth that, when moved to create various shapes, displayed a number of Terran emotions.  
  
I see you're finally trying flapjacks. said the Doctor, setting his replicator tray down next to Spock's.  
  
This was odd; Spock had thought that the Doctor disliked him. Obviously he had to study human emotions more.   
  
I believe they are called Pancakes', doctor. He corrected, raising an eyebrow. Humans were fascinating creatures.  
  
Doctor McCoy did not respond, as he was now hungrily attacking the Earth food, something quite nauseating to watch. Spock concentrated on the meditation until his captain arrived.  
  
If Captain Kirk disliked Spock as the doctor supposedly did, he did not vocalize this. The captain was also human, yet illogically he was a person that Spock was considered to look up to. Perhaps it was easy for Spock to get used to the idea of having an emotional human as a captain because Spock himself was half-human.  
  
At the mere thought of this, Spock would have gone rigid had he not still been chanting. Being half human was not something he usually talked about. Spock himself knew that if he were capable of possessing human emotions, the only thing he would feel for his human mother would be hatred.  
  
It was 5:21. Time to report to the bridge. Slowly, Spock picked up his tray and began walking, calculating the distance to the nearest star traveling at Warp 7 as he went.  



	2. Friends

  
  
Science Officer Mr. Spock stood at his post aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701. The time was 6:36 AM, and the Vulcan was not tired, though he had risen at 5:00 as usual that morning, and gone to bed at 11:30 the night before.  
  
How's it going, Spock? The Captain asked, walking over to him.  
  
_How's it going. _A Terran greeting of Earth origin, meaning approximately the same as How are you_'_, Spock remembered.  
  
I am well, Spock replied, not taking his eyes off the screen. Unfortunately, it seems that we will not be able to reach Kalri IV for 4.26779 hours as the nuclear power being held in the quadrant -   
  
Spare me the lecture, Spock. He replied, It's 6:30. Time to be in bed, not to be lectured on nuclear physics.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. Technically he had not been lecturing - only explaining to the Captain why they would be delayed. He pondered asking why humans had this strange need to repel knowledge, but concluded that the Captain was in what humans called a bad mood because of his lack of rest, and thought better of it.  
  
His eyes again flew to the screen, but there was nothing new there. He did note, however, that the Enterprise had rotated about .3944 meters, and this gave Spock a slightly different view of the stars. He began calculating the distance to the nearest one when Lieutenant Uhura interrupted him.  
  
Just look at the stars! They're so beautiful...... just think, Spock, of how far away we are from anything, out here among the stars......  
  
Spock again raised his eyebrow. Beauty was a term not commonly used among Vulcans, but he knew from experience that human females used it quite commonly to describe any number of things. He glanced again, quickly, at the stars, but was unable to find any beauty there.   
  
Lieutenant, beauty is a human concept. I am unable to understand your meaning.   
  
Uhura laughed, though Spock could find no humour in what he had just said. Many humans found comicalness in the strangest things and places. Spock had a very hard time understanding them.  
  
The Captain said, and Spock turned,When did you say we would reach Kalri IV again?  
  
4.2779 hours, Captain, Spock responded, wondering why he was being asked to repeat this information.  
  
Captain Kirk nodded. Report back here in four hours - you're off duty until then.  
  
Four hours and 16 minutes, captain,He responded, and Captain Kirk nodded.  
  
Spock would have questioned the captain's motive for doing this, but again decided that this was not a good idea. He might as well meditate before beaming down to Kalri IV to study the plant life.  
  
While walking to his quarters, Spock contemplated Kalri IV. He knew that it was a small, primitive planet with few inhabitants, but harbored many rare types of plants. These were what the U.S.S. Enterprise was there for, to examine the plants and see if there were any that had not yet been recorded. He knew that Kalri IV was the second youngest planet in a galaxy consisting of only five planets, each numerically labeled.  
  
Spock lost his train of thought as he reached his quarters, and the grey door whooshed open in front of him.   
  
His room was plain, almost exactly the same as it had looked when he had moved in. Spock did not see why the other crew members cluttered up their rooms up with decidedly useless disarray.  
  
He sat down on the small, Federation-standard chair near his bed and began to meditate.  
  
  



	3. Kalri IV

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek.... at least I don't think so... my great-grandfather could own it and I might inherit it or something....  
  
Again, Spock felt the silence surrounding him, even though now there was little silence. He heard some security guards talking in the hallway, and a yeoman expressing one of the harsher human emotions. Anger, he believed it was called. After a brief period they quieted, leaving meditation an easy path for Spock to take. He felt his breathing become steady and controlled, and emptied his mind of useless thoughts. The only thing that Spock was still aware of, as he sat there, still, was the time. He had only 3.2984 hours until he had to report to the transporter room to beam down. Finally, he pushed even that thought from his mind, and had to no longer concentrate on the quiet.   
  
He was unaware of how long he sat there, but periodically stopped to calculate the time. When he had only .09114 hours left, Spock stood up, shaking away the secrecy of Vulcan meditation.  
  
  
He quickly made his way to the Transporter Room in the five minutes that he had allowed himself, where he quietly waited for the Captain and the Doctor. It was, he thought, illogical that the Doctor constantly accompany them. If there was need for a doctor, he or the Captain could contact Mr. Scott and tell him that one of the medical personnel was needed.  
  
Spock's thoughts were interrupted by both the Captain and the Doctor rushing into the room.  
  
Sorry I'm late, Spock, The Captain said, Bones here was just showing me a new disease he seems to have found in one of the Ensigns.  
  
He'll live, The Doctor said in his odd, droning voice. Jim, the flapjacks this morning weren't up to Federation Standard. I'm going to enter my grandmother's own recipe into the replicator if that's all right with you.  
  
Ah, but ye can't,Mr. Scott, the Chief Engineer, said, The main relicators na' working. I'll try t' fix it while ye three are on Kalri IV, but it may na' be up an' running until tomorrow.  
  
If Spock had to choose one word to describe these three men, he thought, it would most definetely not be logical. They were already late in beaming down to the planet, and the Doctor had chosen a very irrelevant subject matter. Pancakes had nothing to do with Kalri IV's vegetation and ecology.  
  
Captain, it has been already 1.279 minutes since you arrived. I suggest that we beam down immediately.  
  
You're right, Spock. The Captain said, a smile on his face, which was very similar to a grin, Let's go.  
  
It was odd that the Captain was feeling happiness. If anything, he should have been feeling seriousness at realizing his mistake.   
  
  
Spock stepped into the transporter directly after the captain. It was a matter of rank, the Captain had explained. He did not quite understand why rank affected such small things as stepping into a transporter, but Spock had realized that this was a human ship. He would follow the rules no matter how irrational they happened to be. He suspected that this was a matter of honor, and honor meant more to Vulcans than it did to Klingons, although they would never admit this.  
  
Spock felt the familiar sensation of beaming, and the next thing he knew he was on the surface of Kalri IV. It looked just like the pictures he had seen while researching - very dry, with little plants. The temperature was at medium heat, very similar to Earth, the main planet of humans.  
  
In the distance, Spock saw a glimpse of green. He made his way towards it.  
  
Where are you going, Spock? The Captain asked.  
  
I believe I see a large section of the planet which is made up of nucleated multicellular organisms containing chlorophyll and which have rigid cell walls.   
  
He means he sees a forest, The Doctor said grumpily,Speak English, Spock!  
  
Spock rose an eyebrow, confused.Doctor, I was, in fact, speaking English.  
  
The Doctor shook his head, and said, very softly, Didn't sound like English to me!  
  
Spock made no comment as he was unsure if the Doctor had been speaking to him, but did continue making his way towards the , as the Doctor had called it. He wondered if, perhaps, they would discover a specimen which had never been seen before.  
  
A/N-  
Thank you everyone for reviewing! Actually, only one person has reviewed.... oh well. Thank you, Lady Chekov!  
  



	4. Erythronium

  
  
Disclaimer: I either own Star Trek or I don't. You decide.  
  
Spock made his way slowly into the forest, the Doctor and the Captain following closely behind him. He recognized most of the plants which he encountered, but stopped at a small, flowering plant about 10 centimeters high. Spock ran his tricorder by it, but the only knowledge that he was able to gather from that was that it was, in fact, alive. Just like every other living plant he had encountered in his life.  
  
Captain, I believe that I have come across a new species of Erythronium. Spock said, inspecting the plant.  
  
The Doctor looked up from scanning the surface of a rock nearby. You mean White Beauty? Those small white things we've got on Earth?  
  
Here it was again, the word beauty. Spock examined the plant closer, and saw that the small, white petals did slightly resemble stars. Perhaps these humans weren't as illogical as he had suspected. This thought was whisked away from his mind, though, when the Doctor began to ramble on about pancakes again.  
  
Spock did not comment and finished recording the information he had found into a PADD, as the Captain tiredly scanned a few random plants, then took out his communicator. Scotty, three to beam up.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. Captain, there may be more unknown plants in the area. I would not recommend that we beam up until .47 hours.  
  
The Captain just sighed. Spock, it's 10:30 in the morning! (A/N - Funny... as I am writing this it's 10:30 in the morning...) Do you know how late I stayed up last night?  
  
Spock's eyebrow rose further. I am aware that you were awake until approximately 11:58, as I was helping you recreate the nuclear tension of the antimatter section of the engines.  
  
See? I'm tired. The Captain looked almost smug, for a reason that Spock could not comprehend.  
  
I still do not apprehend the reason for your tiredness. He said. 11:58 was, for a Vulcan, a very reasonable time to begin resting.  
  
The Captain sighed again, and Spock could say nothing more, as Mr. Scott was in the process of beaming them up.  
  
Find anything? Mr. Scott asked, leaning on the Transporter, once they had beamed up, of course.  
  
Spock found a new species of something,The Captain said, his shoulders slouching.  
  
White Beauty,The Doctor put in,That's one of my favorite flowers.  
  
Did someone say White Beauty? The flower? Lieutenant Uhura asked, stepping into the Transporter Room.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. Yes, in fact. The Doctor and Mr. Scott were conversing about it.  
  
The Lieutenant laughed. Come on, Spock, why would I be asking that if I hadn't heard Dr. McCoy talking about it?  
  
Spock thought about that, and concluded that the statement was not based in logic. He found no reason to ask something if he already knew the answer. Obviously, humans were not quite as reasonable as he had thought earlier.  
  
Uhura, did you taste the pancakes this morning? The Doctor asked, very worked up, as humans called it.  
  
Spock found that his presence was no longer needed, and went to the Bridge to catalog the data he had just found.  
  
A/N-   
  
Somehow I don't like this chapter as much as the others. Oh well.   
  
Thank you so much, everyone who reviewed!  
  
Blynneda - Actually this started off as a serious fic, but as I was writing it, it changed. So far I haven't been able to think of a better title, so I am keeping this one. Yeah, comicalness is a really strange word - I got it off one of those word-a-day calendar things. Thanks so much for all the positive comments! =)  
  
Earnesthsu - Its OK about the reviews. I don't usually review stories myself, so it's all right.   
  
Ason - Thanks! While I was writing it I had no idea where I was going to go with it, so its kind of a strange combination of genres. =)  
  
I just noticed that I ended most of those things with little smiley faces....... And I really really want to say Oh well right now but I've already said it too much this chapter......  
  
OK, thanks everyone for reviewing again! And if you haven't already, PLEASE REVIEW!!! =)  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Boredom

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek..... but you can think that I do if you want to....  
  
  
Approximately 1.9882 hours later, Spock found himself on the Bridge, doing absolutely nothing, which was quite disturbing for him. Spock had found out earlier that he did not fancy doing nothing, and it created an odd sense in him that he could not explain. He had, early on, created a remedy for this, which was to calculate the exact speed of the Enterprise, or the distance to every star or planet nearby. Unfortunately, he had already done each of these, and had found the distance from the Enterprise to planet Vulcan (A/N - I would just say Vulcan here, but while reading it over it sounded kind of confusing). Spock stood at his post, hands clasped behind his back, while facing the realization that there was absolutely nothing to do.  
  
Ensign Chekov sighed in his chair. Keptin, vith this new computer nawigation, I hawe nothing to do! And it's not ewen time for lunch yet!  
  
Had Spock been human he would have started right then. This was amazing - the Ensign was experiencing exactly what Spock himself was. The only thing different was that the Ensign was hungry , and Spock knew that he would not need to eat anything for another .93224 hours.  
Also, he suspected that Ensign Chekov had not yet calculated the speed of the Enterprise.   
  
  
Spock heard the loud sound of the turbolift doors gliding open, and heard the Doctor speaking with the Captain. He was busy thinking about his lack of things to do and, even with his highly sensitive Vulcan ears, did not catch what they were saying.  
  
He turned, wondering what the Doctor was there for. He did have an illogical habit of coming tothe Bridge when he had no reason to at all. Spock watched the Doctor explain something to the Captain in a hoarse whisper that Spock normally would have been able to hear. He considered asking the Doctor to check his ears, but thought that it might not be a good idea. The Doctor did have a strange unliking to his ears.  
  
Then, abruptly, the Doctor turned away from the Captain, and grinned. He announced, We're having a party!  
  
A party. Spock had never been to a party before, as it was a Terran custom. He did not relish the idea, but a party might be welcome if he still had nothing to do at the time. Spock raised an eyebrow at all of the excited faces on the bridge - he did not understand what was so intriguing  
about a party. Perhaps he really was missing out on something here.   
  
When will this party be? Lieutenant Uhura asked, smiling, I hope it's soon. The Enterprise hasn't had a party in years!  
  
I was thinking today,The Doctor said.  
  
Ensign Chekov asked in disbelief, But, doctor, ve don't hawe any time!  
  
I was thinking, The Doctor said, Since none of you seem to be doing anything anyway, we could get ready now, and have the party tonight.  
  
It's a good idea, Bones, The Captain said,And you're right - no one _is_ doing anything. He stood up. Spock, I leave the Bridge under your command. I'm going to go help set up.  
  
The Captain said, walking to the turbolift. The others on the Bridge followed his example, until Spock was the only one left. He sat down in the Captain's chair, and prepared himself for a long day.  
  
A/N - Sorry that this chapter is a little shorter than the others. I didn't have that much time today. Also I kept finding errors in it and it took me about 3 hours to write this! And it's the shortest chapter too. Oh well....  
  
Yes, I know that this was supposed to be an _average_ day in Spock's life, but I think that I am going to change this story a little. I'm not sure though - I was just wondering what would happen if Spock got bored, so I wrote this chapter.   
  
Please REVIEW and tell me what you think =)  
  
  
  
  



	6. Hungry

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek OR Paramount.... hmm.... can you own Paramount? Sorry, I'm a little crazy right now....   
  
Spock had been sitting in the Captain's chair for exactly .93224 hours, meaning that it was about 1:25 in the afternoon. And it was also the time that, each day, Spock became hungry for lunch. The only problem was that he was the only person on the Bridge. If he left, the Ship would become vulnerable to attack. Well, more vulnerable that it was already. Spock would have to talk to Captain Kirk, and tell him to come to the Bridge while he ate.   
  
There were problems with this, though. He could not leave the Bridge, for reasons already stated. This problem would be easily solved - Spock would merely intercom (A/N - is that the right word? I'm not sure...) the Captain and tell him that he must come to the Bridge.   
  
  
Spock paused for a second. Which room would the Captain be in? He was not familiar with partied, and had no idea which room they would choose for it to be in. Logically, it would be in one of the recreational rooms. He punched in the button for Recreation Room 1.  
  
Captain? This is First Officer Spock. He said, but there was no reply.  
  
He pressed Recreation Room 2 , and repeated his message. Again, there was no answer. Spock urged himself to think logically, and then came up with an answer.  
  
He said, State the location of Captain James T. Kirk.  
  
Captain James T. Kirk is currently located in Recreation Room 7. The Computer's mechanical voice answered.  
  
Spock would have commed(A/N - I have no idea if I am using the right words here! Please tell me if I am not) the Captain right then, but was lost in thought. Starfleet computers were, in some ways, smarter than Vulcans. They had the ability to observe the entire starship, and could locate any person or object in seconds. Although many Vulcans were completely logical, they could not do this. Spock wondered if it was possible to be able to do this. It seemed illogical, so he turned back to the comm, and hit the button for Recreation Room 7. Immediately he heard voices.  
  
I told ye earlier, the replicator's na workin'! Came Engineer Scott's voice.  
  
What's a party without food? First we can't have pancakes, then we can't even have food at a party! This was the Doctor's voice, of course. Listen, Scotty - we need that replicator!  
  
I'll have it in four days. Came the Engineer's muffled reply.  
  
Is the Captain there? Spock asked, then instantly disapproved of saying it. He already knew the answer to that question, and he shivered slightly as he realized that was acting like a human! Maybe it wasn't such a logical idea after all to spend so much time around them.  
  
Came the Captain's voice.  
  
Captain, please report to the Bridge immediately.  
  
Suddenly there was worry' in the Captain's voice, a fairly common human emotion. What happened? Klingons? Romulans? Damn! I knew I shouldn't have left the Bridge!  
  
Actually, Captain...... Spock said, I am hungry.  
  
You're hungry. The Captain said, almost amused. Spock wondered why.  
  
Spock replied, and he heard the Captain sighing.   
  
All right, Spock, but don't take too long eating.  
  
Captain, I assure you that I will be back in 14.673 minutes. Spock replied, wondering at the odd actions of his captain. He would never understand humans.  
  
In approximately 1.2874 minutes, the Captain reached the Bridge, and Spock headed to the mess hall.  
  
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A/N - Yes, I know nothing happened in this chapter, but I can' t really help it... this just kind of writes itself.   
  
Blynneda - Thanks for pointing out the mistake! =) I fixed that part in the chapter. When I read one of your reviews it really freaked me out... you must be psychic! While I was writing Chapter 5 I kept cracking up at things that weren't even funny.... I thought I was going crazy or something. The only reason I am updating every day is I have the time... I have a fever and have to stay home even though I feel fine, so have virtually nothing else to do. I promise I'll keep writing when I get back to school though. I love your reviews! PARAMOUNT WILL SUE US ALL!!! Oh yeah, Bones and the pancakes... actually I don't know why he's obsessed with them... he just is.... it's fun writing those parts though. =D  
  
Lady Spock - Don't worry. I'll update a lot. =) Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad you like it.   
  
If you haven't noticed already, I like putting little smiley faces everywhere... ATTACK OF THE SMILEY FACES!!!! Sorry - I'm really hyper right now.  
  
Ok, if you haven't reviewed all ready, REVIEW!!!! =) I love getting reviews!  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. The Replicator

Disclaimer: What do you think? If I owned Star Trek would I even put a disclaimer here?  
  
Spock reached the mess hall in 2.17 minutes, and once he was there raised an eyebrow. The mess hall was empty. He supposed that the humans were too busy readying for the party to eat, which was exceptionally illogical. Or, perhaps, they had already eaten, but Spock doubted that. The tables were extremely clean, and there was no mess anywhere. Unless the humans had abruptly decided to be neater, the remaining members of the Enterprise's crew had not yet eaten.  
Spock could find no reason why the humans would do such a thing, and was still pondering it while he walked towards the replicator.   
  
  
Replicator, a standard sized cup of Plomik soup, and a plate of Fori-kol, please. Spock said.  
  
The replicator made an odd grinding noise, not unlike the sound that computers usually made when malfunctioning, and immediately Spock remembered that the replicator had broken.  
  
Plomik soup is not in the database, The replicator responded, sounding very mechanical and grainy. Fori-kol is also not in the database.  
  
Perhaps Spock could partially fix the replicator. After all, if something was not done about it soon, the ship's crew would have no food. This could become a disaster, as humans became hungry long before Vulcans.   
  
Spock searched the replicator for an identification number, then turned to a nearby computer.   
  
Computer, locate the main database number for replicator 10783.  
  
Database number 4962832. The computer responded. Again, Spock envied this ability of the computer's. If Vulcans could be anything like this, Starfleet would have no use for the computers.  
  
Request permission to enter database 4962832. Spock stated, not really thinking about the replicator. Maybe if all Vulcans trained in Starfleet, they could learn how to do this.  
  
Permission granted. Spock raised an eyebrow. It was illogical for access to main computer databases to be as simple as this. Any hijackers aboard the vessel could easily break into the starship's main security system.  
  
Soon thousands of binary numbers were filling the computer's small screen, and Spock recognized this as the replicator code. It was a pattern of twenty-three numbers repeating without any breaks, meaning that the code was empty. The replicator recognized the names of no foods.   
  
Reset replicator code. Spock commanded the computer.  
  
Code resetting. The computer assured him, yet Spock had an irrational sense that something was going to go wrong.  
  
And he was right. As soon as the computer uttered those last two words, the replicator made a loud crunching sound and emitted three high-pitched beeps. Some sort of fire, possible made of the Cadmium and Oxygen that were in the replicator (A/N - I know, I know... Cadmium and Oxygen don't usually explode when mixed together.... just pretend this is one of the rare occurrences when they do).  
  
Your food is ready. Thank you for your order. The replicator said, and Spock blinked, as he had not recalled the replicator ever saying that before. Obviously he had done something wrong - possibly the outcome of resetting the database while the replicator was processing food had some sort of dangerous chemical reaction to the replicator.  
  
Suddenly Spock realized what the replicator had said - Your food is ready'. It was illogical that the replicator would still work after the database had been reset. Possibly he had underestimated the replicator's power. He looked into it, and, had he been human, would have been amazed. Sitting in the replicator was meatloaf. Spock blinked.   
  
Obviously the method he had used was faulty. Spock made a mental note to tell the Chief Engineer of the problem, then headed back to the bridge. His 14.673 minutes were up.  
  
Once he was there, Spock found the Captain sitting comfortably in his chair.   
  
Oh, hello, Spock. He said, How did lunch go?  
  
I found it quite fascinating. Spock replied.  
  
I won't ask. The Captain said, laughing. Look, Spock, you can go take a break. I'll stay here on the Bridge. Preparing for that party's got me worn out.  
  
Captain, I would prefer to stay. Spock protested, or at least the nearest Vulcans can get to protesting. It was, after all, a very emotional activity.  
  
The Captain sighed. All right, Spock. I guess I'll go eat lunch then. He got up, and was walking towards the turbolift when Ensign Sulu came running in.  
  
I don't like to bother you, Captain, but something's wrong with the replicator,He said, still smiling. Spock watched him, finding it illogical to display such weakness all the time.  
  
Before I could even order,The Ensign went on calmly,It thanked me for my order and gave me some meatloaf. Should I contact Mr. Scott?  
  
The Captain smiled slyly, making him look much like the Doctor. Oh, no, Sulu, you don't have to do that... why don't you ask Spock about it? He should know what's wrong.  
  
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A/N - Yes, I know.... I'm starting to write meaningless chapters. Oh well. And, just to let you know, I completely made up how the replicator database works, so don't sue me.  
  
Sorry about also having to use Cadmium and Oxygen when they don't usually explode, but I searched the web and my science book and couldn't find two elements that explode. I'll fix that once I find something.  
  
Since no one reviewed, I get to use this space to... talk about pointless stuff! Yes, you can skip this part. Actually, please skip this part unless you have nothing better to do at all.  
  
Um, I watched TNG for the first time last night... it was good, but by the end I was practically screaming, Where are Kirk and Spock and Bones?!?!. So exciting, I know. I think its kind of strange that everyone always compares Spock to Data. They are not at all alike apart from their logic. Actually, I think that you could better compare Spock to Worf (don't get mad at me! I'm not saying Spock is a Klingon!). Listen to this scene between the First Officer of TNG and Worf.. It went something like this...  
First Officer: If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were procrastinating.  
Worf: Klingons do not procrastinate.  
Now listen to it with a few things changed....  
Dr. McCoy: If I didn't know you better, Spock, I'd say you were procrastinating!  
Spock: Vulcans do not procrastinate.  
See what I mean? Yeah, I know.... I'm just going on and on without really making any sense... that's why you weren't supposed to read this...=D  
  
  
If you are reading this, even if you don't like it, REVIEW!!!!!!   
  
=)  
  
  



	8. Meatloaf

Disclaimer: OK, I don't own Star Trek, and if you don't believe me look at all of the other disclaimers in this story.  
  
It was about 1.074 hours later, and Spock was exhausted. He had, to the Captain's great amusement, explained to Ensign Sulu what had happened to the Replicator, then reported this information to Engineer Scott. Spock and Engineer Scott had been working on fixing the replicator for approximately the last hour and 5.4 minutes.   
  
I think I've got it. The Engineer said, stepping away from the replicator and wiping sweat off his face.  
  
Spock thought about this. It was not logical for the Chief Engineer to discontinue working, as he only thought that he had fixed it. It was not yet a proven fact. Spock chose, though, to say nothing, and to continue working.  
  
After a few minutes, he looked up. I believe, Mr. Scott, that I have accurately fixed the replicator's bio-database. It would be logical that we test out the Replicator to see if it is functioning normally.  
  
All righ'. Mr. Scott said, I'll order something, if ye don' mind. It's been a long day.... Replicator, how about some Scotch?  
  
Thank you for your order. It would be logical that you also have an entree with your order.  
  
Engineer Scott looked at the replicator in surprise. Mr. Spock, what did ye do to this blasted machine?  
  
It was a very open-ended question. Spock did not know which aspect of his work the Engineer wanted comment on.  
  
Mr. Scott, I believe I have already told you this. I entered the replicator's manufacturing number into the computer which resulted in the code to the main database. From this I got the information which -  
  
The Chief Engineer silenced him with a wave of his hand. All righ', replicator,He said,I'll order somethin' else to eat. Replicator, give me some Colcannon.  
  
Thank you for your order. Your food is ready. The replicator said in an almost mocking tone, and as Mr. Scott waited anxiously for his food, something arrived. The Engineer groaned. It was meatloaf.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. He was sure that he had entered the binary code properly. Possibly someone had hacked into the computer system as what the humans called a practical joke'. In that case , there would be no way to fix the replicator. Spock wondered why humans performed these practical jokes, as it only wasted time and, in some cases, lost the starship equipment. It was quite illogical.  
  
Perhaps we should contact the nearest Starbase and ask for a new replicator. Spock suggested,It seems the only thing we can do at the time.  
  
Mr. Scott was about to reply when suddenly both of them heard the loud beeping sound that was Red Alert. The Captain's voice came floating in from the comm unit in the midst of this confusion.  
  
Mr. Spock, report to the bridge immediately. Kirk out.  
  
Spock heard this and rushed out of the room, leaving behind a bewildered Engineer. Mr. Scott stood there for some time, and then, in the middle of a potential emergency, reached down for the meatloaf.   
  
I knew I should have eaten earlier. The Chief Engineer mused to himself, then dug in to his treasure.  
  
  
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A/N - Sorry everybody! This story is slowly becoming more serious.... I can't help it! This thing is seriously writing itself!  
  
Again, this _would_ be the place where I acknowledge the people who reviewed ... but ... _ahem_ ... no one reviewed.... don't worry I'm just joking around. So, now this becomes the place where I write any random thing that comes into my mind! Remember, people, you can skip this part and go straight to the next chapter.   
  
**Humans**: KILL TASKEMUS! BECAUSE ..... WE FEEL LIKE KILLING PEOPLE!!  
**Taskemus**(AKA me): Help!!!!*runs to Klingon home world*  
**Klingons**: Last chapter you compared a Klingon to one of those filthy Vulcans. YOU MUST DIE!!!!!  
**Taskemus**: AAA! THE KLINGONS ARE AFTER ME!*escapes to Romulus*  
**Romulans**: Yay! A new hostage! KILL TASKEMUS!!!!  
**Taskemus**: Help! The Klingons AND the Romulans are trying to kill me! *runs to Vulcan*  
**Vulcans**: Exactly 822.24 words ago, you compared one of our kind to an enemy race. This is illogical, and the penalty for illogic is death.  
**Taskemus**: HELP! THE KLINGONS AND THE ROMULANS AND THE VULCANS ARE AFTER ME!!! *faints out of sheer terror...either that or the heat*  
  
Ok that was very strange. I can blame you people for not reviewing... I'm crazy. =D  
  
  
Keep reading, everyone! I update this thing every few days. =)   
  
  



	9. Attack

  
  
Spock hurried through the twisting halls and soon found himself on the Bridge. The Captain and the rest of the Bridge crew were there, all of them looking very worried.   
  
The Captain looked at Spock as he walked into the Bridge, and in one word summed up the trouble.   
  
Romulans. Spock almost shivered, but luckily did not. The Romulans were living proof of what the Vulcans had been before Surak, and personally Spock did not like them. He sometimes wondered what would happen if the Vulcans went back to being what they had been before, and had come to the conclusion that if they did this, the Federation would be in great danger. It was unlucky for Starfleet that the Romulans even existed.  
  
I'm getting a message,Lieutenant Uhura said, looking nervously at the Captain.  
  
On screen, Captain Kirk said, gripping the sides of his chair so hard that Spock thought, had it been him in that chair, it would have fallen apart by then. Of course, the Captain did not posses the strength of a Vulcan, so the chair did not fall apart.  
  
The screen flashed, and then a picture of a young Romulan man filled the screen.   
  
This is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enter-the Captain began, but was cut off by the Romulan, who was obviously annoyed by the captain's speech. Spock looked at the Romulan closer, and saw that the annoyance was perhaps mixed with anger.  
  
Enough of your pointless talk, _hevam. The_ Romulan male said, sneering. We have things to discuss.  
  
What things?the Captain asked, remaining slightly calm but with a touch of anger in his voice,We don't have anything to discuss. We have broken no rules and there is no reason why we would have to _discuss_ anything.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow at the stressed word. The Captain was implying that the word discuss meant something other than its obvious meaning. He remembered that the word discuss' had a slightly different meaning a few centuries ago on Earth... He believed that it sometimes meant fight'.  
  
The Romulan began to laugh. Are you trying to fool me? Make me think that you would _never_ break one of your precious _rules_? What do you have to say to that?  
  
There was silence as everyone tried to figure out what the Romulan meant. He laughed again, harshly. Let me _tell _you what you have done. Neutral Zone ring a bell?  
  
There was another shocked silence.   
  
Chekov? Sulu? The Captain asked,What is our location?  
  
Ve are a little past the Romulan Neutral Zone, sir. Ensign Chekov responded.  
  
The Captain, looking bewildered, was about to say something when all of a sudden Engineer Scott came running out of the turbolift.  
  
This meatloaf tastes li' Colcannon! He shouted, grinning,Do ye know what tha' means?  
  
Everyone on the bridge stared at him. The Captain said seriously,Normally I would love to hear about how meatloaf tastes like... Colanan ..... Colcalan ...... Conacon...  
  
Colcannon, Captain,Spock supplied,It is a Scottish and Irish dish made mostly from potatoes and cabbage, which are-  
  
The Romulan cleared his throat. Captain _Kirk_,He said with disdain,I believe we were discussing how your ship crossed the Neutral Zone.  
  
The Captain nodded, and turned to Ensign Chekov and Ensign Sulu. Chekov! Sulu! I thought you two were navigating!  
  
Well, sir, we were, but when Dr. McCoy came in this morning, we all left to go decorate for the party. We left the computers to navigate.  
  
Why would the computers lead us to the Romulan Neutral Zone?The Captain asked, sinking down into his chair. A computer malfunction? But they were all working fine this morning....  
  
Spock walked over to the Captain. I believe, Captain, that this was my doing.  
  
Everyone turned to stare at him, and Spock felt strangely subconscious.  
  
I always knew he was a Romulan spy. "Yeoman Rand said lightly, shaking her head, as she set down the Captain's cup of coffee.  
  
The words swirled in his head and Spock felt an uncontrollable surge of hatred. Ever since he had joined Starfleet, people had been joking that he was a spy for the Romulans. Sometimes this led to major discrimination on his part, which Spock thought was highly illogical. He was not Romulan, and any well-educated member of Starfleet should have been able to tell that. Also, it was not logical that they think he was a _Vulcan _spy for the Romulans, as the two races had always been on bad terms.  
  
Actually, Yeoman, while I was resetting the Replicator's code, I also temporarily changed our course. There was no other solution, and had I not done this we would have no food right now.  
  
Even if it is Meatloaf tha' tastes like Colcannon. The Engineer put in.   
  
This explanation did not stop the crew members suspicious stares.  
  
Tell me, Spock, the Captain said,Why the Romulan Neutral Zone? Couldn't you have had the Enterprise go to... Kalri IV again?  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. It seemed that even his captain was suspicious of him now. Captain, I had no control of where the computers sent the ship. It is possible to do that, but it would have taken 46.793 days, and judging that it takes humans a mere 9.112 days to starve, I thought that we would not have that much time.  
  
The Captain sighed. Very well, Spock. He turned back to the Romulan, who was humming impatiently. It seems that we_ are_ in the Neutral Zone.  
  
The Romulan grinned. You are all my prisoners. Come with me.  
  
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A/N - Someone reviewed! Thank you!! Now all of you reading this don't have to put up with the mindless crazy things I usually put here.  
  
Grace - Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Ok, enough thank yous there. I'm glad that you think it's funny! =) Keep reading, please! =)  
  
  
All right, all right... I lied... I'm still going to talk about random things here. Sorry about any spelling mistakes that split up words (ex: turbo lift, star fleet, etc.). My spell check automatically does that... it even changed my name to Task Emus when I wasn't looking. Luckily I caught that one. Also, I am completely mystified as to how the Spell Check knew the word _hevam_, and all of the captain's mispronunciations of Colcannon....=/... OK, well, please review everyone! I love all of your positive comments! =)  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. Romulan Captain

  
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. Just ask Paramount and Viacom. They will claim ownership, meaning that I DON'T OWN STAR TREK!!!! Sorry.... got a little carried away there....  
  
Spock rose an eyebrow. The Romulan's command was quite illogical. There was no possible way that they could come with him, unless they were all aboard the same vessel.   
  
The Captain seemed to be realizing this, also, as he began to speak to the Romulan.  
  
He began, but the Romulan cut him off even there.  
  
The Romulan corrected, I am a captain and you will address me by my proper title, and then will come with me.  
  
Captain? Sir? Yeoman Rand said, pausing in pouring the Captain some more coffee, Will all of us be coming with you? Or just the Captain?  
  
That's a good point! Ensign Sulu put in, There are 430 of us!  
  
Now was the time for Spock to speak. He said, addressing the Romulan, I am certain that 432 people will not fit on your ship. I suggest that you take only our Captain with you.  
  
The Romulan captain looked bewildered. I suppose that makes sense, Vulcan..... I will take aboard only the captain and the people who just spoke.  
  
But, Captain - Lieutenant Uhura protested,Then there won't -  
  
And everybody who speaks in the next three minutes, The Romulan captain added, smiling at the Lieutenant's mortified response.  
  
_Captain_ Kirk, be ready to beam down with the others in three minutes. Prepare for quite a long stay.  
  
Spock waited for the Captain to protest, or say something completely illogical, but he did not. Instead, he sat there, quite tired and perhaps sad, and Spock felt himself almost wanting the captain's absurd, optimistic comments. None came, and everyone on the Bridge sat there, silent, for exactly 2.3349 minutes.  
  
The Captain asked, and the Engineer walked over to him, remaining silent. Be ready to beam four down.  
  
Five, Captain, Spock corrected, and the Captain turned and looked at him with a black stare.  
  
You got us into this, Spock. He said as the Engineer hurried away, muttering something about Colcannon under his breath,Now it's time to get us out of it. Can't you do anything?  
  
Spock rose an eyebrow, thinking. Most likely the Captain was asking if he could do anything in the current situation, not in general. Negative, Captain. And I believe that in truth, it was the Doctor who got us into this.  
  
The Captain listened, but made no comment. A second later, Spock heard someone bursting through the turbolift. He turned, and saw that it was the Doctor and the Nurse.  
  
The Doctor shouted, Jim! The disease is spreading!  
  
The Captain pushed the comm button. Scotty? Make that six. Six to beam down.  
  
What disease? The Captain asked, but the Doctor wasn't paying any attention. What the _devil_ is going on here? He asked, staring around at the Romulan Captain, and noticing how silent everyone was being.  
  
Is something wrong?The Nurse asked, and the Captain shook his head sadly, comming the Engineer.  
  
Change that to seven, Scotty. He said.  
  
Spock looked at the Romulan Captain, who was grinning evilly. Seven prisoners. He said to himself,Me. _I _have seven prisoners. Seven.  
  
You see, Bones,The Captain was explaining, but the Romulan Captain cut him off.  
  
That was three minutes. Now go to the transporter room.... all seven of you!  
  
They stood up, and made their way to the transporter room, the Captain still explaining to a bemused Doctor and Nurse what was going on.  
  
As they were walking, Spock looked backward at the Bridge, and saw that only Ensign Chekov remained, along with another Ensign who he did not know.  
  
Ensign Chekov, it is logical to assume that while we are gone, you will be captain.  
  
The Ensign almost cried out in joy, but remembered the Romulan Captain's rule and merely nodded, while everyone else filed into the transporter room.  
  
Scotty, beam us down. The Captain said, and they began to de-materialize from the U.S.S Enterprise.  
  
***************************************  
  
A/N- Yes, I know, these chapters aren't as funny..... I'll try to fix that next time, OK? Be ready for a FUNNY CHAPTER!  
  
Also no one reviewed ='(, so I can't put anything here except something completely crazy. Unfortunately I am really tired because it's about 6:45 in the morning so I'm not going to write anything here! *readers of this story clap*  
  
Ok that was fun.... see you all next chapter! =)  
  
Oh, and one last thing.... REVIEW!!!!! I really, really, really appreciate reviews and will answer them personally if you provide an email address, or if you don't will at least mention you in the story!  
  
  
=)


	11. Trapped

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek.... and you should know that by now as this is the 11th Disclaimer that I have put in this story...... but if you don't that's perfectly fine because now you know... and if you don't it would be kind of cool if someone thought I owned Star Trek....   
  
  
They were inside a Romulan Bird of Prey, seemingly an old one as many of the walls were coming apart and some of the metal in it was rusting.   
  
The Romulan Captain led the way through the halls, humming something that Spock recognized as Beethoven. Every once in a while, he turned around to check that everyone was there.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow, as there seemed to be no one else aboard the ship. Examining the floor, he saw very few footprints. Obviously they were alone here. He would have told this observation to the Captain, but was unsure if the Romulan Captain would approve of this.  
  
After approximately 5.68773 minutes, the Romulan Captain stopped, standing in front of a large, sturdy door.  
  
This is where you - all seven of you - will be staying. He said, and with a flick of his wrist, opened the door, revealing a very small, barred, room.   
  
Spock thought that they could easily escape the ship at this point, but the Romulan commander took out a phaser, and pointed it at everyone.  
  
Get in there! He said, Or you die! And all of the other 430 you left aboard your ship!  
  
425, Captain. Spock corrected, and the Romulan snarled. Be quiet, Vulcan! In fact, everyone here should be quiet!  
  
Lieutenant Uhura asked,Does that include you? Or just us?  
  
Spock was startled at the Lieutenant's logic, but also at her illogic. The Romulan Captain possessed strength much greater than the Lieutenant's, and Spock knew from experience that Romulans were quite violent. It did not make sense to insult one of them.  
  
The Romulan Captain screamed at her. I told you to be quiet! My ship is depending on this! Now get in there! The Romulan Captain violently shoved everyone into the room, slamming the huge, heavy door, then Spock heard his echoing footsteps traveling through the halls.  
  
This is it. The Captain said, slumping back against the wall, I hate to say it, but there's no way out. He pounded uselessly against the stone wall.  
  
Well, at least we have food, Lieutenant Sulu said,shoving a piece of meatloaf onto the floor, I stole this from Mr. Scott.  
  
Yeoman Rand eyed it suspiciously. Didn't Scotty say that it tasted like.... some sort of Scottish food?  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. This was exceptionally illogical - the Yeoman had food, yet was rejecting it because of its taste. Even more illogical than this was that she had not even tasted it yet. This was very unreasonable, and Spock thought of telling her this, but decided that he had matters which the humans would consider more important to discuss first.  
  
Yeoman, pass me some of that meatloaf, The Captain said, and she followed his orders with a slight pout upon her face.  
  
Once the Captain had the meatloaf, Spock walked over to him.  
  
Captain, I advise that - He began, but the Captain shoved him off.  
  
Spock, I am by no means giving you _any_ of this meatloaf!  
  
That is not what I wished to speak about, Spock said, wondering what was the matter with his Captain, I wished to discuss -  
  
Again, the Captain attempted to push him away.  
  
Spock, I know you really want to eat some of this, but we have to save it.  
  
He _does_ have a good point, Spock,The Doctor added, sitting down on the grimy floor,If you all eat all of the meatloaf, there will be no food! And that means that.... we will all die! The Doctor was saying this with a slightly excited look on his face, and Spock admitted to himself that he did not quite know what to make of it. It seems that all of the excitement' of the past few minutes was gravely affecting their minds. Either this or that they were only being illogical. Spock suspected the latter.  
  
Captain, it would be wise to exit this room immediately -   
  
Spock stopped mid-sentence, a thing so rare that everyone in the room except for the Captain looked up. He was busy biting the meatloaf into small pieces, singing softly to himself as he did so.  
  
Spock turned to the Doctor.Doctor, I believe that the Captain needs medical treatment immediately.  
  
The Doctor did not even acknowledge his words, just sat staring blankly at the cracked wall.  
  
  
He asked, and she promptly stood up. Please check the Captain and the Doctor for any possible disease.  
  
She shook her head. I can't. All of the medical equipment is back on the ship.  
  
Spock's mind was soaring with ideas, and he thought for a few seconds as to which was the most logical. Finally he came to a conclusion.  
  
He said,Lieutenant Uhura, Lieutenant Sulu, Yeoman Rand, come with me. We must escape this place and tell Mr. Chekov of our current situation.  
  
But, Mr. Spock, how are we going to do that? Lieutenant Uhura asked,We can't just walk out of here!  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. Actually, Lieutenant, we can. The Romulan Captain neglected to lock the door.  
  
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A/N - Sorry that this chapter took so long in coming. I was busy studying for school because I had to make up a lot of the work that I missed. On a brighter note... I GOT REVIEWS!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! =D  
  
Blynneda- Thanks for all of your help pointing out errors! =) I just noticed while reading your reviews that I have this thing against McCoy. Hmmm...   
If you ever see that guy who was playing the techno music again, you should throw a rock at him. Don't you think it's annoying reading in computer labs though? People always want to see what I'm reading, and then they think that I am completely weird when I tell them. I know that you deserve a super-long reply here, but it's really late at night and I can't think of anything! Help!  
  
Tavia- We can't blast the Romulans because... otherwise there would be no plot! And if there is no plot, that means... the computer will keep going on about logical eating habits! OK, sorry, that was a bit random.... Yeah. It's actually kind of fun looking up information for stories... don't kill me for saying that, I'm just hyper right now. Not the best time for me to be writing, but oh well. You looked up Scottish saints? Wow. Couldn't anyone just wander into the Neutral Zone? Well, actually, if that happened the Romulans would have killed everybody... okay, I am going to stop writing because I am confusing myself here.... =D  
  
Ms_vegeta_black- Thanks! I'm glad that you like it.  
  
**About the Plomeek issue:** Lots of people have been asking about my spelling of Plomeek, so I am going to answer it here. Plomik is how Plomeek is spelled in the Vulcan language, and I thought that since Spock is Vulcan I should spell it like that. If you REALLY REALLY object to that, I can change it, but I think that it makes sense for now. Obviously I can't write this whole thing in Vulcan....   
  
Please Review, everyone! =)


	12. The Way Out

  
  
Everyone in the room except for the Captain and the Doctor gasped.  
  
Why didn't you tell us sooner? Yeoman Rand asked,We could have left by now!  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. Yeoman, if you recall, I had been trying to explain this to the Captain for exactly 2.1468844316 minutes, but he illogically refused to listen.  
  
They were interrupted briefly by the Doctor, who stood up. Jim? Jim, why aren't there any pancakes? Yeoman, get me some pancakes!  
  
The Yeoman started towards the door, looking warily at the Doctor, but Lieutenant Uhura stopped her. She said, turning to Spock,What do we do with Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy? It would be hard to take them with us... but we can't just leave them here....  
  
Lieutenant, I believe that the most logical thing to do in this situation would be to leave them behind, and have Ensign Chekov beam them up after we come aboard.  
  
Lieutenant Sulu stepped forwards. Normally, I would not think that this was a good idea, but in the situation that we are in, I would have to say yes.  
  
Say yes to what? The Doctor asked,Say yes to pancakes? By god, Jim, they're dead, the pancakes, and if you want to be the doctor you - The Doctor collapsed onto the floor, and after a brief pause the group continued talking.  
  
The Yeoman and Lieutenant Uhura nodded, but the Nurse had something to say, and it seemed by the look on her face that she was very worried about it.  
  
Mr. Spock - the disease that Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy have - it looks very serious. I forget what exactly happens, but I know that if we don't get them back to the ship in an hour, they could die.  
  
Spock nodded, and proceeded to open the door. Quietly, he made his way back through the hallways that they had come, the others following closely behind. He knew that normally he would consider what they were doing illogical - walking through an enemy ship with no communicators or tri-corders - but doing this was vital to the preservation of the ship, and the ship came above all else. They had to do this.  
  
Spock remembered each corridor that they had passed, and soon they were moving a little faster. At one point they reached a small, almost hidden room, but Spock knew that no one was in there - or, if they were, they were not breathing - so they passed by it quickly.   
  
A few minutes later, Lieutenant Sulu tugged on Spock's sleeve. Before Spock had a chance to say anything, the Lieutenant had foolishly shouted out what was wrong.  
  
Mr. Spock, Nurse Chapel has disappeared!  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow.  
  
Maybe she is in that room we passed a while ago,Lieutenant Uhura asked,Should we go check it?  
  
The Yeoman shrugged. It can't hurt.  
  
Spock was about to comment on the illogic of going back in the direction they had just come when it was not vital to the ship, but had no chance, as everyone had started back already. And Spock knew that it would be illogical to try and tell these specific individuals why it was logical to continue on. The only thing that he could do was follow them.  
  
As they reached the small room, Lieutenant Uhura hurried in ahead of everyone else, and Spock clearly heard her gasp.  
  
Following the others inside, he saw the Nurse in a severe state of confusion, looking obviously worse than the Doctor or Captain had.  
  
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A/N - Yes, I know, this was a weird chapter... and I used the word logical way too much.... that's probably because I ate Girl Scout Cookies for breakfast today. Hmmm... girl scout cookies make you more logical? I could sell those! =D  
  
I didn't get any reviews yet, but that's OK as I just posted the new chapter yesterday....  
and this chapter would have been here sooner if I hadn't just suddenly decided to watch 2001: A Space Odyssey yesterday... oh well.  
  
Has anyone else noticed that I seem to be against McCoy? Blynneda and Tavia put some things in their reviews that actually made me notice that.... that's strange. Oh well... Bones is cool anyway =)  
  
While I was spell checking this I noticed that I accidentally changed Blynneda to Bylined.... sorry Blynneda! That's fixed now, so don't worry.  
  
Yeah. I have basically nothing to say here except that everybody should eat Girl Scot Cookies for breakfast...... bye!  
  
  
  
  
Oh, yeah - PLEASE REVIEW!!! =D  
  
  
  



	13. The Doctor is Hiding

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek. I don't. End of discussion.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. The humans were being oddly quiet.  
  
Mr. Spock? Lieutenant Uhura asked after a few minutes had passed, What do we do? Obviously this disease is contagious. Pretty soon we'll all have it if we don't do something quickly.  
  
The Lieutenant seemed to be waiting for some sort of answer from Spock. I have very little medical knowledge, Lieutenant. I am slightly perplexed at the speed that this ailment is spreading, so it is only logical that we continue on and leave the Nurse here.  
  
Yeoman Rand spoke up, and Spock could tell from her face that she was angry. Mr. Spock, what do you think you're doing? Are you trying to kill us all? In a couple of minutes another one of us will have come down with this thing, and you'll leave them behind too! Pretty soon you'll be the only one still standing! Spock, you can't do this! It's murder! MURDER!  
  
With that, the Yeoman dramatically paused, then fell to the ground. Spock lifted his eyebrow higher.  
  
Has she acquired the disease, or is she merely dramatizing the situation which we are currently in? Spock wondered aloud, and was answered from the Yeoman's voice coming from the ground.  
  
I'm dramatizing the situation. Don't worry. Coffee, anyone? She asked, standing up dizzily.  
  
This was quite illogical. Spock had no idea how to respond to their situation, but quite obviously he was the only one who could do anything. He paused, and was aware of the others waiting expectantly for an answer. But this time he had none that was both logical and would satisfy the others. He took a deep breath, his heart pounding deeply in his ears.  
  
This was the time. Spock would either embrace logic and be scorned by the rest of the crew - and possibly kill his Captain - or lose it entirely in order to help his fellow crew members.  
  
Luckily, Spock did not have to make this life changing decision, as just at that moment, a distraction came. Silently, Spock sighed, but instantly was puzzled.  
  
PANCAKES!!!! GET YOUR PANCAKES, EVERYONE!!!!Came a loud voice that was distinctively the Doctor's.  
  
Everyone turned and searched the room, and their faces came back with a look of confusion on them.  
  
Where's Dr. McCoy's voice coming from?Lieutenant Uhura asked, reaching a hand up to smooth out her hair,I'm hearing his voice, but I don't see him!  
  
Spock wondered at this. He had noticed while aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise that humans had an odd habit of saying things that everyone else nearby would have known even had they not said them.  
  
Maybe he's invisible?the Yeoman asked, laughing.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow at this obviously illogical statement. Yeoman, if I am correct, I believe that the sound which the Doctor has been emitting is coming from the ventilation system. Scientific law states that it is impossible for a being of any type to erase themselves from the sight of -   
  
Spock saw that no one was paying any attention to him; instead they were focused on the vent which was placed on the ceiling of the room they were currently residing in.  
  
Doctor McCoy? Are you up there?Lieutenant Uhura asked, peering up at the vent.  
  
There was silence.  
  
An answering voice responded, and it sounded as if the Doctor had somehow rid himself of the mysterious disease he had concocted. Spock raised an eyebrow, but no one else in the room seemed to think this odd.  
  
How are you going to get down from there?Yeoman Rand asked,We have a sick patient for you down here! She said, moving closer to the vent.  
  
How did you get up there?Lieutenant Sulu asked in wonder, as soft scratching sounds were heard.  
  
The Doctor's head popped up into view.  
The pancakes. They led me down the hall, and the next thing I knew... He began, sounding quite serious. Perhaps he had not quite finished healing yet.  
  
It would be logical that we begin to assist the Doctor down,Spock said, watching as the humans continued to shout greetings and questions up to the Doctor.  
  
  
Lieutenant Sulu nodded. That's a good idea. He turned to the Doctor. Can you get down by yourself?  
  
At that moment, Spock heard an odd pounding noise. At first he could not place it, but very quickly he knew what it was. Feet. Romulan feet. And from the sound of it, they were heading his way.  
  
**********************************  
A/N - Hey everybody! I just noticed while reading this over that I may have the idea of ventilation systems from Tavia.... sorry Tavia!  
  
Also, I have no idea if it's possible to tell the difference between human feet and Romulan feet... let's just say that it is.  
  
There was something else that I was going to say here, but I forgot what it was, so it will have to wait until next chapter.   
  
**Tavia- ** No, it's not the meatloaf's fault... I don't think. *grins evilly*. Yeah. I know Plomik because a couple years ago I tried to learn the Vulcan Language... Unfortunately I'm still trying. It's funny, though, because now automatically when I see something I try to think what it's called in Vulcan... meaning that whenever I see a bottle of Vinegar or whatever I burst out and everyone thinks I'm crazy. =D I know! It's _fun_ looking up stuff for stories, even if it is something like chemistry... and If I had to look up the same thing for school, I would most likely think that it was boring. Weird.  
  
See you all next chapter!  



	14. Waiting

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, just like I have been saying for all of the other 13 chapters of this story... If you don't believe me, talk to Paramount. Unless, of course, there's someone named Taskemus working for Paramount.....  
  
Spock listened to the advancing noise for a few more seconds, then looked towards the others. They did not seem to notice the noise, most likely because their ears did not pick up many noises. In fact, the human ear could only hear sound frequencies between about 20 hertz and approximately 20,000 hertz. Spock wondered for a brief second why these ears had evolved like this, then quickly turned back to the problem at hand.  
  
The others that had come with him, excluding the nurse, were squeezed around the air ventilation system in the small room which they were in, intently watching the Doctor try to make his way down. They were talking amongst themselves, pacing excitedly, and, overall, making a lot of useless noise.  
  
At this rate, the Romulans would find them in approximately 1.46632 minutes. They would have to make use of their time. Spock instinctively scanned the room for any openings other than the door, and his eyes locked on the vent.   
  
Spock cleared his throat, knowing that he only had 21 seconds to speak if he wished his plan to work correctly.   
  
The humans turned towards him. Spock wasted no time.  
  
Romulans are tracking us. We must exit this room through the ventilation system immediately.  
  
Spock had counted on the humans at first not comprehending this, and giving him many blank stares, as they usually did, but this time he was certain that they heard.  
  
As soon as the words had left his mouth, Lieutenant Sulu was pushing a confused doctor back into the vent, and helping to lift up a terrified Yeoman. Spock helped in lifting the humans into the vent, and when everyone else was up, he paused for a second, stopping to listen to the Romulans' approaching footsteps. He wondered for a moment why he had paused so abruptly, but suddenly understood, as at the last minute he slowly lifted himself into the vent and closed the door behind him. He had stopped because....  
  
Spock paused, as the sound of thick Romulan breathing was heard in the room below them, and suddenly came up with the right word. Thrilling. It was thrilling.  
  
As soon as this thought entered Spock's mind, he pushed it out, and instead concentrated on listening to the Romulans below. From the sound of it, they were slowly circling around the room, inspecting everything that was there.  
  
After a while, one of them spoke. Spock knew very little Romulan, but was able to make out what they were saying.  
  
Do you see anything here, _Vriha'Erein_? One of them asked, and Spock immediately recognized the voice of the Romulan Captain.  
  
The other in the room took his time to answer. There is nothing much here, _Enarrain_. Many footprints of the filthy _veruuls_, not much else.  
  
The Romulan Captain laughed at this, but not harshly. Then they have passed this way. _Menkha. _I will stop my search here. You, _Vriha'Erein_, will continue searching for those lost. When you have finished this, you will take the other prisoner to the bridge.  
  
  
  
The Romulan Captain began humming again, this time Brahms, and then there were sounds of footsteps, and the humans reacted to this greatly. Lieutenant Sulu sighed, and Yeoman Rand whimpered.  
  
What were they saying? She asked, Are they planning to kill us? She asked this to everyone in general, not really expecting an answer.  
  
Actually, Yeoman, they are not planning to kill us. They do not even know our hiding place. From what I heard, they have captured the Captain, and are still searching for us.  
  
Instead of calming down at this, the Yeoman began to do something quite illogical.  
  
You _are_ a Romulan Spy!She shouted,I knew it! This is all your fault!  
  
Spock rose an eyebrow, searching his mind for the proper response. Fortunately, he had to say nothing. The Nurse had chosen that moment to awaken from her coma. She stared up at everyone blankly.  
  
You're alive!The Doctor shouted, grinning,But not exactly healthy yet. I'll just perform a few medical tests - The Doctor reached for the pack he was carrying with him, but Spock put a hand out and stopped him.  
  
Doctor, I would not advise you to to operate at this moment. I am still questioning your sanity.  
  
The Doctor shook his head at this, and began muttering to himself under his breath. Questioning my sanity! Questioning my sanity! Who does he think he is? Why, even _pancakes_ would tell me it's illogical to question my sanity!  
  
Spock rose an eyebrow, now quite certain that he had made the correct decision, and all six of them began crawling through the Romulan Bird of Prey's ventilation system.  
  
*************************************  
A/N - Sorry, that was a pretty long chapter, and there wasn't that much humor in it. Oh well.. that can come next time.   
  
**Tavia** - AAAAH! Everyone's stealing the ventilation ducts! I'm not very good at chapter titles.. glad you liked that one. Funny misery - that's a paradox... at least it sounds like it. Hmmm... what _is _causing all this pain and misery?  
  
**Ms_vegeta_black **- Sorry, the Captain's coming next chapter. I kind of forgot about him there for a while...   
  
**Blynneda** - Ok, this is going to be a really long paragraph. Just warning you. An expert in ventilation... I would be worrying right now if you hadn't been joking. Haha - walking pancakes! Hmm... maybe I should use that... Yeah, I know it's illogical to learn a fake language... but it's fun. Especially because no one really thinks about Vulcan and Romulan (or whatever it's called) much, just Klingon. I'm not _that_ crazy.. thousands of people know Latin! Besides, it's fun - whenever I watch Star Trek now I understand most of what they're saying without sub-titles. Yes.. I like having Bones say completely weird things. It's fun. I just noticed (while reading your review) that this has been kind of drifting away from Spock's POV.. at first there was no plot and so Spock had lots of thoughts.. and now there's a plot, and he doesn't have many thoughts. Does that mean that Spock doesn't think whenever there's a plot? OK, this is REALLY long so I'm going to stop writing now...  
  
Bye! =)  
_  
_  



	15. Back to the Captain

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. In fact, no one on fanfiction.net owns Star Trek, at least not that I know of. If you own Star Trek, please review immediately and give it to me. Just kidding, I'm in a really weird mood right now. If none of us own Star Trek, doesn't that mean that we really all own it? EVERYONE OWNS STAR TREK!  
  
The Captain of the starship Enterprise stumbled into the hallway, feeling the Romulan's rough hands pushing him into the brown wall. He blinked, not at first comprehending what was happening. As he turned his head, he saw three Romulans, each sneering at him.  
  
You come with us, _Captain!_One of them said.  
  
The Captain blinked again, trying to remember how he had gotten in this awful place. Memories flooded his mind, but they confused him. He was tired, so tired, and wanted very much to go to sleep. Maybe the Romulans would bring him to his room?   
  
Where are you taking me? He asked, still trying to put together the thoughts that flooded his brain.  
  
We are taking you to the bridge, _veruul_! A Romulan responded, and all of a sudden Captain Kirk understood. He was on an enemy ship. Swiveling around, he saw no one he knew, only four of the awful Romulans. Romulans! He jerked.  
  
The Captain brought his hand instinctively to his phaser, but found with dismay that it was gone. One of the Romulans began to laugh at him.  
  
So this is the famous Kirk we have heard so much about! The Romulan pushed him, to keep him walking faster.  
  
Another put in, The Captain wants him on the Bridge soon.  
  
The Bridge? The Captain asked, Why don't you take me to the Brig?  
  
The leading Romulan stopped, scratching his head. I don't know! Maybe the Brig is being reserved for your friends who seem to be lost somewhere in the ship...  
  
That's nonsense! The Captain protested, turning around to face the Romulans,Take me to the Brig! I always go to the Brig!  
  
The Romulans only continued to snicker, and the Captain desolately continued to walk forwards, and further and further away from the rest of his crew.  
  
  
***************************************  
  
Spock and the rest of the crew that had followed the Captain to the Romulan ship were still crawling through the ventilation ducts, which were becoming dirtier and dirtier by the minute.  
Spock found himself having to continually brush dirt, dust, and very large cobwebs out of their path. For a while, they had been crawling through a thin layer of muddy water, but luckily were out of that.  
  
What do you suppose made these cobwebs? The Yeoman asked, yanking a large chunk out of her hair and throwing it to the ground.  
  
Spock rose an eyebrow that the Yeoman could not see, as she was a the third person behind him. The duct had narrowed down, meaning that they had to crawl single-file in order to proceed through the ventilation system.  
  
It seems, Yeoman, that these cobwebs' were made from a living organism, most likely something from the genus Loxosceles or Leucage. From the size of these cobwebs', I believe that this creature differs from the others in its species, and is greater in size than most.  
  
You mean a huge spider. The Doctor said.  
  
Spock replied, wondering why the Doctor always repeated his statements in different words. Humans were a species that constantly repeated themselves. Evidence of this was seen in the ancient Aztec ruins found in the country of Mexico in Central America, which were found to have recreated many of the same -   
  
Spock's thoughts were interrupted as he heard a slight noise coming from the chasm in front of them. The noise was quite faint, and Spock even had trouble hearing it. Even so, he thought it best to mention this noise to the others. It was quite possible that this noise could be the creature which had been making the cobwebs, or perhaps a Romulan.  
  
Spock warned, There is something up ahead.  
  
  
A/N- I know, this was mostly the captain. I couldn't help it! It was fun. I don't usually write from the Captain's POV, and this one was exciting because he was kind of crazy.  
  
Sorry about how late this chapter was! I wrote it a long time ago but forgot ot put it on ff.n. Also I've been really busy with schoolwork and still have some reports due! AAAAH!   
  
**Blynneda**- Haha! That teaches you to always log in! Normally, when I am not writing fan fiction, I write REALLY long chapters... if you could see some of them you would be very happy that this is short. Not to say that you're not happy this is short... I'm not psychic or anything, don't worry. YAY! Everyone can be thrilled now!  
  
**Tavia **- I know this wasn't long. I just get into a sort of frame of mind, or something, thinking that everything I write is long... no, don't worry, I am just saying that for no reason at all. Also, I think that whatever I write isn't funny... because for a few years there I could _not _write humour. Or humor, however you spell that. Everyone should like Earth music! Actually, if you like _any _music you like Earth music... because all of the music we listen to right now is from Earth! Unless you like listening to the winds on Mars or whatever. Wait - does Mars even have an atmosphere? I'm blanking out today. Please don't ask about that.


	16. Where is the Spider?

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. If you really think I'm lying, take this into consideration - I would never have killed off Captain Kirk. That was the dumbest thing Paramount ever did, in my opinion.  
  
A/N- Sorry, I am going to be kind of focused on the captain this chapter (or maybe won't write as well or whatever) because just watched Generations for the first time yesterday. And I am going to kill Paramount and Viacom and whoever actually had the nerve to kill of Captain Kirk. KILL PARAMOUNT!! Yeah, sorry. I'm kind of more hyper than usual today, as it's SPRING BREAK!!!!  
  
The Captain kept walking, never once looking backwards at the Romulans who were pushing him forwards. He strode quickly, trying to act courageous, but inside was afraid. This was different than usual, stranger, and at first he couldn't place it.  
  
The Romulans did not speak at all to each other, just continued walking, pushing the Captain along. He wasn't sure how far they traveled, or for how long, but the Captain knew that it seemed like ages. He didn't understand why he was so frightened - he had been taken prisoner many, many times, and usually he was taken to the Brig...  
  
But this time was different. For some reason, they wanted him on the Bridge. Why the Bridge? It made no sense, unless, of course, the Romulans were lying. Something was going on, he was sure of it. The Captain shivered, yet kept walking, knowing that there was nothing he could do against these Romulans. But he had to have courage - he knew that his courage was the main reason he had been accepted into Starfleet. The Captain slowed his pace, and lifted his head up high, suddenly ready for any torture that would come to him here.  
  
One of them said harshly, sounding a little like a Klingon, and the Captain jerked back to attention. They were nearing a room that looked to the Captain suspiciously like the Bridge. The Captain stared forwards into the room as he was pushed into it, wondering if this truly was the vessel's bridge.  
  
It was.  
  
  
****************************************  
  
Spock and the others crouched in the tunnel, listening. He heard the noise grow considerately louder, and now was quite sure that it was some sort of animal or primitive life form. From the sound of it, the creature had only four limbs which were placed on the body unevenly, much like the structure of a Human, Vulcan, Romulan, or Klingon. It was making mostly animal noises, and Spock suspected from these that it was not very intelligent.   
  
He listened some more, and sensed that the creature was aware of their presence, and was moving towards them. From his time with humans, Spock knew that this would be an appropriate time to speak. He turned around, and immediately all of the humans eyes were focused on him.   
  
Some sort of creature is heading towards us.Spock said after a brief pause, It is quite illogical for us to travel backwards in this tunnel, and as the creature is traveling .35772 seconds faster than us, there is no possible way we could endeavor to outrun it by crawling ahead of it. The only logical solution would be for us to remain here.  
  
Stay here? Are you crazy?The Doctor asked, staring at Spock with wide eyes. Spock, if it really is a giant spider, it will devour us! You hear that, everyone? It will devour us! We can't just sit here, we have to _do _ something!  
  
Everyone else nodded, and Lieutenant Sulu even began to make his way backwards. Spock knew that the creature would reach them in .354217 seconds, and Lieutenant Sulu would have no time to get out of the ventilation system. The others started to follow him, but were interrupted by a giant roar.   
  
Spock turned around, and immediately raised an eyebrow.  
  
Sitting in the tunnel next to him was a Klingon.  
  
  
*****************************************  
  
A/N- ok, hello again everyone! I really have nothing to say here today, except that I'm happy that it's Spring Break. =)   
  
**Blynneda**- About the mostly the Captain thing... I'm REALLY not used to writing in his perspective. So maybe I just mentally thought that the chapter was mostly the Captain or something..... Have you noticed that I always come up with these completely weird, lame excuses that make no sense? =P While I was reading your review I kind of freaked out about the Nahuatl thing, because the day I read it we had just learned about Nahuatl in History AND Spanish class. And thank you! I fixed the New Mexico mistake, also. I know almost nothing about Aztecs. And the Anasazi are cool... I wonder what happened to them? They just sort of disappeared.... hmm....  
  
**Tavia** - Haha! Yeah, I don't know WHERE that Giant Spider came from. I was just writing it and decided that there needed to be a Giant Spider. And I am going to completely change the topic, but it seems like most of the things I read have British spellings, and then my English teacher is always going on and on about how I have to spell things correctly.... I think I should move to England or something. *changes topic again* If Mars can't support human life, what's this whole thing about how astronauts are going to Mars next year and are going to grow vegetables and everything and see if we can live there. We should really be finding some planet that can support human life! Oh well.  
  
**Elissa-Dido** - It's ok! Actually, I really like getting feedback on my stories, because obviously I don't know everything! Thanks! =) And, no, you don't sound like a dork, at least I don't think so. Don't worry, as soon as I get a chance I'll fix that.  
  
  
Bye, everyone! Please Review if you haven't already!  



	17. Koloth

Limitación de responsabilidad: Yo no poseo el Viaje de la Estrella.   
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. This was quite illogical. He stared at the Klingon, ready for any sort of attack.  
  
The Klingon stared at him blankly, then burst into a smile.  
  
He said cheerfully, smiling out at the surprised crew,I mean ... Hello! He explained, crawling towards Yeoman Rand, who inched backwards,My name is Koloth !  
  
Spock turned to the Doctor. He said,I believe that this Klingon has contracted the disease you discovered this morning.  
  
The Doctor nodded, never once taking his eyes off the Klingon. The Klingon grinned at him.  
  
Lieutenant Sulu said, after an awkward silence,How did you come to be in this ventilation system, Klingon?  
  
the Klingon corrected,I was fighting a giant spider.  
  
Excuse me?!The Doctor asked, slumping backwards against the wall,Fighting a giant spider? Are you out of your mind?  
  
The Klingon considered this.  
  
Actually, evidence shows that you are, in fact, out of your mind',Spock put in, seeing that the Klingon was not answering.  
  
The Klingon said, addressing Spock, who raised an eyebrow. He knew only a little Klingon, and the word that the Klingon had spoken was not one of the words he knew.  
  
I mean, thank you,The Klingon corrected, sitting down on the dirty metal floor of the ventilation duct.  
  
There was a silence as everyone looked over the strange Klingon, and then Spock spoke again.  
  
It would be logical to assume that there are more Klingons somewhere in this ship. They may not have gotten the same illness which this one does. Therefore, it is logical that we continue making our way through this ventilation system.  
  
It's also.... logical.... began the Yeoman,that we leave the Klingon here.  
  
Lieutenant Sulu nodded in agreement. The other Klingons might track this Klingon here -  
  
The Klingon put in, a little bit angry this time.  
  
The Lieutenant corrected,and then they would find us too.  
  
Everyone else began nodding, too, and Spock was about to begin crawling when he was interrupted by the Doctor.  
  
He said,We can't just leave Koloth here all by himself! He'll get eaten by that Spider ... or maybe even by... The Doctor lowered his voice,  
  
Doctor, you are ill. Spock said,It would be highly illogical to bring this Klingon with us. He could become sane again any minute.  
  
And he would kill us all!The Yeoman added, shivering.  
  
The Doctor, however, was not about to lose this battle. Either we bring him with us, or I'll carry him!  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow, knowing that the Doctor did not have even half the amount of strength required to lift up a fully grown Klingon. If the Doctor pursued this activity, he would most likely injure himself, therefore multiplying the time it would take them to reach the end of the tunnel by 6.30528 minutes. The only logical thing to do in the situation would be to allow the Klingon to travel with them. After all, there was only a 2.086 chance that the Klingon would become sane again in the time that it took them to escape the ventilation system.  
  
Very well, Doctor,Spock said,The Klingon will come with us.  
  
******************************  
  
The Romulans pushed the Captain through the door, sending him sprawling to the ground. Knowing that all eyes were on him, the Captain slowly made his way up.  
  
What do you want?He asked the Romulans, as they all looked up from their positions on the bridge to stare at him, My ship? Well, you can't have the ship, that's for sure. If there's one thing I hate, it's Romulans who want my ship.  
  
  
One of the Romulans who had brought him in said, scowling,We don't want that piece of rubbish you call a ship. What we _do_ want is something I'm sure will be much easier for you to handle.  
  
The Captain gulped, as the Romulans all continued to stare at him, their eyes now narrow slits in their heads. What is it that you want?  
  
What we want, Kirk, is for _you_ to take _us_ to that planet, The Romulan Captain said, pointing to a small blue speck on the viewscreen, and without even giving the Captain time for his words to sink in pushed him into the Captain's Chair.  
  
************************************  
A/N- That was a really strange chapter. And that's all I can really say about it right now.  
About the disclaimers: I've decided to do them all in different languages for a while, for variety. If I mess up saying something please tell me. I had NO IDEA how to say disclaimer' in Spanish so just looked it up online and am hoping that it's right!  
  
**Blynneda** - That _is_ weird, about the parallel ideas. Most likely, when all Trek fans were born, they were born with these crazy ideas about giant spiders and things like that. Actually giant spiders would scare babies. So never mind about that. About Marvin the Martian - to me it doesn't really seem like the plot of Generations. And this sentence has nothing to do with anything, but I remember when I was a kid I had this screen saver with Marvin the Martian on it and he was saying, This computer will make a great doorstop! or something like that.  
  
**Tavia** - Yes. I brought up the bridge. *screams*. I don't really have that much of a problem with Captain Kirk's dead either... its kind of like whoever wrote that movie didn't like his character or something. At least, that's what I thought. Another random thought I had while watching the movie was that neither of those ways was how he died - someone murdered him and they didn't want to let it out or something. But since there's not really a follow up to that movie, I'm guessing that that's not the case. And the disease - hmmm. I guess it takes a little longer to kill people than McCoy suggested. The disease was probably in the Ensign for a few hours before it was discovered. Yeah. That just means I forgot about that little detail, but oh well.  
  
**Ms._Vegeta_Black **- Sorry - I like cliffhangers. I'm crazy enough to even like _reading _ cliffhangers. I didn't really think about it being a build-up, but I guess that it is! It's OK, you don't have to review every single chapter if you're really busy. Sometimes I can't get onto ff.n for a while so I do the same thing.  
  
  
** THE END of the story.  
**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
No. Actually, THE END of this chapter.   
  
  
  
  
  
Don't ask why I even did that.


	18. The Exit

Désistement - Je ne possède pas Vedette Trek.  
  
Spock turned slightly, looking back at the small group which was toiling along with him. They had ceased talking long ago, and Spock sensed that most of them were concentrating completely on the task at hand.  
  
Turning once again to face forwards, Spock glimpsed a very slight spot of sunlight ahead of him. This meant that they were nearing the exit of the ventilation system, or perhaps another tunnel.  
  
Does any one have some water?Lieutenant Sulu spoke up through parched lips.  
  
If anyone is in possession of a drinkable liquid, I do not know of it, Mr. Sulu,Spock said, continuing to crawl through the small tunnel.  
  
It _has_ been a long time since I ate or drank anything.... The Yeoman spoke up, slumping back against the wall.  
  
You just had coffee!The Doctor said enviously,What I would give to be a Yeoman!  
  
The Doctor and the others behind him kept crawling, leaving the Yeoman behind.  
  
You want to be a Yeoman?The Nurse asked incredulously, Personally, I like being a nurse. Yeomen are... boring.  
  
Are you calling me boring? Look, I can do jumping jacks!The Yeoman said, jumping up and hitting her head on the ceiling.  
  
There was silence.  
  
What's a Yeoman?Koloth asked, looking perplexed.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. If the humans had not began to converse, most likely they would have reached the exit of the tunnel. Unfortunately, they had decided to argue with each other, and ended up harming the Yeoman.   
  
Spock estimated that the trip out of the tunnel would now take approximately 3.141727 minutes. He decided to keep this number to himself, and waited patiently as the Nurse began treating the angry Yeoman.  
  
Let me do it! I'm a Doctor, not a .... The Doctor began, trailing off.  
  
Lieutenant Sulu put in.  
  
The Doctor shook his head. No, that's not the word I'm looking for.  
  
The Yeoman spat out.  
  
3.141727 minutes. Spock realized that the first four digits of this number were the same as in pi. With not much else to do, he quickly ran over the first 400 digits of pi in his head.   
  
Spock sat there for another 1.5722 minutes, and when the Nurse had still not finished, Spock decided to go further ahead in the tunnel and investigate the light.  
  
No one noticed his departure, as they were all arguing, and perhaps contemplating the Doctor's question.  
  
Crawling a few meters forward, Spock saw, as he had assumed, a grate in the floor. He clearly heard voices coming from it, so slowly inched forwards.  
  
Looking into the grate, Spock was quite surprised at what he saw. Immediately Spock took that thought back - he had not been surprised... just slightly perplexed.  
  
The grate lead down into what was obviously the Bridge of the Romulan Bird of Prey.  
  
And sitting in the Captain's chair was Captain Kirk.  
  
**************************************  
  
You want me to... what?The Captain asked, confused. He had just been pushed into the uncomfortable Captain's chair, and the Romulans were all looking at him expectantly.  
  
You heard the order!One of the Romulans shouted,Take us to that planet!  
  
The Captain squinted, looking out the viewscreen at the planet.  
  
But... that's Quo'NoS! The Klingon home world!The Captain protested, still trying to figure out why the Romulans wanted to travel to the Klingon home world. As far as he knew, the Romulans and the Klingons were two enemy races.  
  
The Romulan Captain grinned evilly.  
  
We will invade the Klingons, and when they attack us, we will show them _you_ and say that _you_ invaded our ship, and it was not our fault but your that they were attacked!  
  
  
The Captain blinked. He wasn't sure if he understood, but knew that the Klingons were going to frame him for something. And, if he was in the Captain's chair and giving the commands, he would be guilty of the crime.  
  
Searching his mind for solutions, the Captain gripped the sides of his chair.  
  
Full speed ahead.  
  
  
******************************  
A/N- Sorry this chapter took so long in coming. My cousins were visiting - they're always visiting. Oh well. And sorry if my writing is getting kind of weird, because one of my younger cousins forcing me to listen to this song, Kryptonite, nonstop. And it was really annoying me!! So, I think that's where the Yeoman bumping her head came from. (If you have ever listened to that song all day long, you'll know what I mean!)  
  
And it has also dawned on me that I am picking on the Yeoman a lot. And I am kind of changing her personality...   
I like her better with her personality changed, though, so I'm going to keep her like that. If anyone really really hates that decision, talk to me.   
  
About today's disclaimer - I know about three words of french. So don't sue me if that disclaimer said something weird.  
  
  
**Ms. Vegeta Black** **-** Well, there's your answer, if you understood it. And I wanted it to be kind of strange. =)  
  
**Tavia -** Well, I guess "Bote de las estrellas" works... I don't have a favorite Klingon or a favorite Romulan. I have a favorite of just about everything else, though..... The Romulans wanting Kirk to take them somewhere thing confused a lot of people. I hope this chapter cleared things up a little.  
  
Sorry if you reviewed and I didn't say anything here. It's been a really long time, and my inbox is a little cluttered.  
  
  



	19. Romulans have Got the Captain

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. If you think I do, sue me.  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow, watching silently as his Captain gave the Romulans a few quiet commands. This was quite possibly the most illogical thing that he had seen all day. It was very close to impossible that the Captain had made allies of the Romulans - four out of three hundred, actually.  
  
Spock continued watching for a few seconds longer, trying to puzzle things out in his head. Most likely there was some logic behind the Captain's decision.... if, in fact, it had been a decision.  
  
He again raised his eyebrow, then began crawling at a steady pace back towards the others who he had left behind in the shaft. Once he reached them, he found things almost exactly as he had left them.  
  
The humans were still arguing. This was very illogical - it had been approximately 2.421 minutes since Spock had left.  
  
  
I'll say it one more time, in case you didn't hear me!the Yeoman was shouting angrily, Yeomen. Are. Not. Boring. End of discussion.   
  
If Yeomen aren't boring, what is?the Doctor inquired,the only thing below Yeomans would have to be.... Klingons.  
  
The Klingon shook his head, still smiling idyllically. No, Klingons are nice. We have the virtue to eat our food alive rather than make it suffer by burning it like you.  
  
None of the humans or the Klingon had acknowledged Spock's presence in the vent. He cleared his throat. There was a slight silence, and then they all began talking again.  
  
Ok, Koloth, I agree with you!the Doctor was shouting,But you have to help me get rid of this.. this... Yeoman!He spat the word out as if it was a curse. Otherwise the pancakes will get us! By god, Koloth, you have to help me or we'll never see our ship again!  
  
Spock cleared his throat again, this time speaking as well.   
  
I believe that our Captain has been forced into serving duty aboard this starship. I am not certain of the details.  
  
The humans continued arguing. They were obviously having trouble hearing - Spock made a mental note to tell this to the Doctor. He repeated his statement, and this time Lieutenant Sulu looked up.  
  
The Romulans have got Captain Kirk?  
  
******************************************  
Back on the _Enterprise_, Ensign Chekov was having a blast. At first it had been pretty boring, just sitting in the Captain's chair and doing nothing - but then he discovered that, at least for a few days, he was the official Captain of the _Enterprise.  
  
_ Which meant that he could randomly find channels on the radio and talk on them. Right now he was having a wonderful discussion with some Klingons... Klingons were actually not as mean as they were cut out to be, the Ensign found.  
  
Tell us you surrender your ship or we will destroy it!  
  
The Ensign shrugged, and switched channels, just as the Chief Engineer entered the room.  
  
Captain, I have the cake you ordered...  
  
The Ensign grinned - who would have known it would be this fun to be a Captain? He laughed slightly as the Engineer left the room, and it was only then that he looked back down at his plate. Groaning, Ensign Chekov saw that the only thing his tray held was meatloaf.  
  
***************************************  
A/N- Sorry that this was so short. And sorry that it's been so long since I wrote anything. You see, I have the Ensign curse. I'm serious. Practically every bad thing you can think of has happened to me. If you think I'm lying....  
  
- I sprained my wrist. Which is the main reason I haven't been writing.   
- I got stuck in an elevator. (while I was in the elevator, I noticed that it looked like a turbolift and started cracking up because someone on ff.n wrote a story about someone getting stuck in a turbolift)  
-A tornado touched down 3 miles from my house.  
- I got lost in the woods multiple times. If you think that's bad, consider that I live in a city.  
  
And lots and lost of other stuff! =D   
  
**Tavia** - But it's FUN to make the characters do crazy things! =P Yes, it was a dreadful time to stop writing. Which is why I started writing again.  
  
**Ms. Vegeta Black **- It's been a really long time so I don't remember at all what we were talking about.... I answered something? Ok, well... you're welcome.  
  
**Saurons Twin Sister** - Sauron has a twin sister?!?! AAAAAH! *hides* Yeah, Spock is one of my favorite characters too. Mostly because he's Vulcan. Star Trek is a cool TV show because all of the alien species are different and they don't all say You. Must. Die. Now. for no reason at all.  
  
**Blynneda** - I can't remember if you reviewed last chapter, but I might have deleted it accidentally like I am doing all the time... I'm always deleting things. Like my inbox. And my entire internet connection thing. AAA! Ok, sorry.... well, I'm glad you like it.  
  
=)  
  
  



	20. Trouble

Disclaimer: Hmmm... I can't think of anything original to put here right now. Evil disclaimer! Well, this is obviously going to go on and on and on so please skip this. Please. Unless you don't know what a disclaimer is. Then you can keep reading. A disclaimer is something that tells you that the author does not own Star Trek! Tada! Ok, now that I got that over with I can actually start writing....  
  
A/N - 20 Chapters! This is getting long! =)  
  
Lieutenant Sulu stared at Spock, dumbfounded.  
  
The Romulans have got Captain Kirk?!The Lieutenant repeated, almost at a loss for words. But - but - the Romulans - they _never_ get Captain Kirk!  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow. This was yet another illogical thing about humans - they always overreacted to anything unusual. Just because the Romulans rarely ever captured the Captain did not mean that it was impossible. In fact, there was always a 39.4% chance of this happening.  
  
The Lieutenant continued his speech of amazement, practically screaming. The others in the tunnel finally ceased their argument and looked over at Spock, perplexed.  
  
He's in the brig then. the Doctor said, glaring at the Yeoman. He sighed. Let's go get Jim out then, like always.  
  
Doctor, the Captain is not in the Brig. Spock said, watching the Doctor's face become distorted with confusion.  
  
Where is he, then?the Doctor demanded, staring at Spock as if he thought that the Vulcan was the culprit. It was odd, how suddenly three fourths of the Bridge Crew suspected him of things he was not guilty of.  
  
The Captain is on the Bridge. I believe he has been forced into serving duty aboard this starship.  
  
Everyone was staring at Spock now, with odd expressions on their faces. It seemed that they believed he was a lunatic. He raised an eyebrow.  
  
I am speaking the truth.  
  
There was silence. Then Lieutenant Uhura spoke up, her voice shaky.  
  
All right - we will have to go stop the Romulans then, somehow... either that or just wait and see what happens.  
  
*************************************  
  
The Captain sat in the Captain's chair, watching the Klingon home world appear closer and closer on the viewscreen.  
  
One of the Romulans grinned evilly at him. We are almost there, _veruul!_ Ready to become a Klingon stew?  
  
Klingons don't eat humans. Captain Kirk said, not knowing if this was true or not.  
  
We will see about that!The Romulan said, obviously in a good mood. He immediately began skipping around the bridge, humming Rachmaninoff as he did so. The Captain felt a smile begin on his face as he thought what Chekov's reaction to this would be.  
  
************************************  
  
Ensign Chekov swirled around in the Captain's chair, chewing on some oddly-flavored meatloaf.  
  
I am glad meatloaf is not a Russian inwention. He said to himself after a while, watching the Romulan Bird of Prey speed away on the viewscreen.   
  
Vhere are they going?!He shouted out, once he realized that the rest of the crew was aboard that ship. Ve have to chase after them!  
  
And with that, Chekov jumped down from the Captain's chair and began navigating the _Enterprise_ forwards.  
  
*************************************  
  
A/N - Sorry that the last few chapters have been kind of short. My life has turned chaotic, if that's even a word. So I had to write this one in an hour without editing it or anything... sorry about that. This chapter may not be very good. And, remember, you can skip the A/N. Its basically a lot of pointless stuff.  
  
Another thing I noticed... I've been capitalizing the these. I most likely lost you there.. so I'll put an example. I've been going _The Doctor_ instead of _the Doctor_. I'll get that fixed soon. =)  
  
This story is taking a toll on my mental health. When I hadn't written anything for about two months, my subconscious mind decided (without even asking me!) that since I wasn't going to write a story from Spock's POV, I was just going to turn _into_ Spock. AAAH! I was watching this movie about Mt. Everest (I forget what it was called), and when two people reached the top at 5:30, when they had direct orders to come down at 2:00, I was seriously thinking .. _That was illogical. It would be very dangerous to attempt climbing down the summit when it is obvious that... _ and then I figured out what I was doing and started writing again. Just thought I'd tell all of you that for no reason at all...  
  
**Spockdoc - **Thanks. I really enjoy writing this. (this is kind of short... oh well =P)  
  
**Saurons Twin Sister - **You're welcome. And I'm continuing, don't worry. =)  
  
  
Remember, people, reviews are life. Meaning that if you don't review, I'm going to die.   
  
No, actually, that's just me being weird again. See you next chapter! =)


	21. Found

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. Another bland disclaimer, but it's summer. I'm not supposed to think.  
  
Spock and the others eased their way through the tunnel, towards the grate he had found earlier. Quietly, they all leaned forwards and gazed down at the Bridge.  
  
You're right. the Yeoman whispered in awe, Kirk _ is _ down there.  
  
The rest of the crew remained silent, most likely contemplating strategies for rescuing their Captain.  
  
We have to go down there and get him. the Doctor said at once, before Spock had even finished outlining the 357 possible theories.  
  
He raised an eyebrow.That, Doctor, is most illogical.  
  
I don't know about you, but I agree with Dr. McCoy. Lieutenant Uhura spoke up at once, peering again into the grate. It looks like they're going to get Captain Kirk into a lot of trouble if we don't do something fast.  
  
Spock looked around the room, and saw that Ensign Checkov and Lieutenant Sulu were also nodding their heads enthusiastically.   
  
It was going to take a long time to convince them all.  
  
I believe that the only logical choice we have is to distract the Romulans for approximately 3.12 minutes, while then quickly entering the Bridge and bringing the Captain to the Transporter Room.  
  
Well, that's impossible! the Doctor scoffed, How are we going to distract the Romulans? Personally, I like my idea better.  
  
Spock again raised his eyebrow. Certainly, Doctor, you prefer the idea because it was your own.  
  
No, I like his - the Lieutenant began to say, but was cut off by the sound of footsteps approaching the grate.  
  
Spock looked down at the Bridge, and saw that the Romulans were approaching. There was only one thing that could possibly drive them to inspect the grate - they knew where the Enterprise crew was hiding.  
  
*************************************  
  
Captain Kirk sat in the Captain's chair, though he was paying no attention to how the starship was being run. His eyes instead were focused on a band of five Romulans, slowly walking over to a large opening in the ceiling. Scanning the Bridge, he saw that no one at all was paying attention to him.  
  
Knowing that he might never get another chance like this, Kirk ran.  
  
******************************  
A/N - Ok, I'm really sorry that I haven't written anything in months!! I kind of forgot about the story... sorry, guys! I'll try to write extra-fast now to make up for it. Unfortunately now I'm not used to Spock's POV anymore so I had to keep editing and I still don't think it sounds right.... =/ that's why this chapter is so much shorter than the others.  
  
Most of you won't even remember what you put in your reviews, but I'm writing responses as normal here...   
  
  
**Tavia - **THE RISKS SPEECH!!! Hehe, I love the risks speech! I will just be talking to someone, and if they say something like I dunno, that sounds a little risky... I will start it =P. Yes, I'm crazy!!!!  
  
**Saurons Twin Sister - ** Ok, I'll write more soon! =)... and I really hope that this was considered soon as well.... *uh-oh*!  
  
  
  
  
  



	22. The End

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek and never will.  
  
A/N- I am so sorry, guys! I stopped writing the story without having ended it.. ='(  
Well, here's an ending for you..  
  
Lieutenant Uhura gasped. Kirk - he's running!  
  
Yes, quite obviously, the Captain was running. That was possibly the most illogical thing that he could have done in the circumstances. Spock saw that the Captain was unarmed, and all the Romulans had phasers. Plus there was the fact that the Captain had this new disease, and was not in his right mind. If only he had been born a Vulcan ...  
  
By the love of Pancakes... the Doctor whispered as he watched the Captain make a mad dash for the turbolift,I hope he makes it.  
  
The Turbolift's doors swished open, and for a second Spock thought that the Captain had at least a 87% chance of leaving the ship alive. But then he saw that there was someone waiting on the other side of the door. A Romulan. His phaser was pointed right at the Captain's neck.  
  
And, suddenly, Spock felt himself jumping out of the ventilation system.  
  
_What am I doing? This ... is .. illogical! There is no reason why the Captain must remain alive! There is a 99.9534261 chance that I will die here -_  
  
In a quick second Spock had pushed all the logic that was pulling at his mind away, and pulled out his phaser. _The Captain is my friend. I must save my friend._  
  
The Romulan disappeared in a flash of yellow and green. _At least that is over with. _Then Spock turned around.  
  
Behind him stood 14 fully armed Romulans, all pointing their phasers right at the Captain and Spock. _There is only a 0.00000000026 chance that I will live, and it is much less than that for the Captain.   
  
_The only thing that could save the Captain now was an act made out of pure illogic. And, not surprisingly, one came.  
  
It's name was Koloth.   
  
he said, easily squeezing out of the air vent. My name is Koloth, and I'm a Klingon.  
  
In an instant, all of the Romulans had swiveled around, away from the Captain, to face Koloth. You're dead, Klingon! one of them spat.  
  
Oh, no I'm not! he grinned, poking the Romulan nearest him. In a second, the Romulan's face distorted.  
  
_Of course_, the Captain thought, _this mysterious disease spreads by touch_!  
  
Hey, Klingon! the Captain shouted, poke all of them, will you?  
  
A few of the Romulans turned back to face Kirk. He gulped. It would take a miracle to save him now.   
  
Luckily, he had one in his pocket.  
  
Captain Kirk, you will die! one of the Romulan Ensigns declared. Now was his chance.  
  
With a swift movement of his hand, he had pulled a piece of meatloaf from his pocket and thrown it into the Romulan's open mouth.  
  
The Ensign began coughing and choking. What ... is ... this .. poison??  
  
The Captain grinned. Meatloaf flavored like an obscure Scottish dish. Works every time!  
  
He glanced over his shoulder. The strange Klingon was infecting all of the other officers, and many lay paralyzed on the floor. Ah, yes, the world was in his hands again. And out of the corner of his eye he spotted the Enterprise coming towards the ship.  
  
Everything is going to be all right.  
  
The Captain sighed. Now that he was back on the Enterprise, he was very tired. _I'd really go for a nice cold glass of wine right about now_, he thought.   
  
As if reading his thoughts, Spock entered the room. Captain, I believe that I have fixed the replicator's problems.  
  
Thank you, Spock. Replicator, I'd like -   
  
Thank you for your order! The replicator shouted in an overly excited voice. Something popped out.  
  
Do I dare look? the Captain wondered out loud.  
  
Sitting on the replicator tray were pancakes.  
  
Kirk yelled down the hall,THE REPLICATOR WON'T GIVE ME ANYTHING BUT PANCAKES!!!  
  
McCoy's voice came from one of the doors,   
  
**END**  
  
Thank you so much everyone who has reviewed! I can't thank you guys enough!


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